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Taking The Plunge



Life is set to change again for us.

We have had a great time entertaining many B&B guests, but now have decided to stop & concentrate on the things that are far more important. Firstly, ourselves... Sharing our home with many strangers is quite exhausting & Sime in particular has worn himself out giving his all, something neither of us had really noticed until we stopped.

Secondly, Bebe (Sime's mum) is going to be moving in with us...
Her dementia is progressing, though the conditions she was continuing to live in were obviously not helping.
We feel she has been let down by the social care support team, her carers seemed to be excellent on the surface, but in reality - she has been badly neglected. On our last visit, we found her flat in a terrible state. The cleaner had disappeared, her hairdresser had stopped going in & some of the carers didn't even bother to feed her! On top of all this, she has been phoning the police about her hot water & heating, roaming the streets & inviting strangers into her home.
Sime has asked on several occasions for some guidance about what to do next from the social care team, but they had continually insisted that Bebe was fine at home.
A few weeks ago, Bebe ended up in a psychiatric hospital for assessment & it was agreed that she could no longer cope on her own... At last we felt relieved to know that she was safe, but of course - being in an assessment unit means that it is only temporary. The pressure was suddenly on us again to come up with a way forward & after much discussion, we decided that we should again talk to Bebe about moving in with us & amazingly, she has agreed!

We cared for my nan until her death in 2009 - she too had vascular dementia, so we are fully aware of what life will be like... There will be ups, downs & lots of hard work, but we want Bebe to end her days surrounded by family, with as much fun & laughter as possible. She is a great entertainer & loves the limelight, so will no doubt become a huge part of our blog! We have promised ourselves to get back into writing - we have so many tales to tell & photos to share... Once Bebe is here & settled, life will hopefully be easier!

Bye for now.

Love Kay (& Sime)
xx


Comments

Jane and Chris said…
I have missed you so much!
Have you contacted the local Alzheimers's group ? They do great stuff, my Dad has been helped so much by them.
Glad to have you back.
Jane x
Susan Heather said…
I wish you well - putting my husband into care was the hardest thing I have done and I still feel guilty about it even though I know I was not able to cope any more.

With two of you and lots of laughter I am sure you will cope well.
Kath said…
You 2 are brimming with kindness and compassion. As my old Nan would have said, you have hearts like buckets and dear Bebe will indeed be surrounded by fun, laughter and lots of love xx
Scarlet said…
It's wonderful to see you back. You are love, care and kindness personified.
With much love, us 2 in Lancashire. xx
Maa said…
Lovely to see you again and looking so good with those infectious smiles. I'm sure you will be great carers for your mum. Lucky Bebe. Hugs Sue
dreamer said…
Glad that you have time to blog again. Bebe is lucky to have family that care so much about her welfare. I'm sure that the path ahead isn't going to be easy but you will find a way to make it work for all of you, I'm sure.xx
sooz said…
Hello, so nice to see you back again :D How lucky your Bebe is, I'm sure she'll have a fab time with you, I hope it goes well xx
Mum said…
Lovely to see you back, you lovely people.
Love from Mum
xx
Nice to see you back you have been very much missed.I have missed your laughter. Its difficult when you live away from loved ones - Bebe will be better with her own around her - and you will not be worrying or beating yourselves up from a distance. Take care you two and do not forget to take time for yourselves as well. So glad you are back.

Love and Light

Pattypan

x
Nic said…
Yay, you're back :) Looking forward to reading about Bebe's life with you x
just Gai said…
I've missed you. Having witnessed dementia first hand I'm full of admiration for your decision take Bebe in, It's lovely to hear that you expect your lives to be enriched by her company. You are a very special family.
The Smiths said…
Hi Jane, there's a memory group (they run memory cafes in Cornwall) & a good social care team down here, so we shall be well supported! Look forward to catching up with you! K&S :)
The Smiths said…
Hi Susan, you did the right thing for both of you - it's incredibly stressful to care for someone alone... We've both worked in residential care too for many years, so it's second nature, but neither of us would attempt to do it single-handed. Don't feel guilty, struggling on doesn't make a better person... It just leaves you exhausted & resentful, not a good situation for either of you!
Thank you & take care, K&S :)
The Smiths said…
Hi Kath, we shall do our best... Thank you! xx
The Smiths said…
Thank you Scarlet... We've been thinking about you lots, so much to catch up on! Love to you both. xx
The Smiths said…
Thank you Sue... We shall do our best! K&S :)
The Smiths said…
Thanks Dreamer! We know so much about dementia & that the good times will definitely outway the difficult times. Bebe is great fun when she's on top form (& as daft as Sime really). She also adores her grandkids, so it will be great for her to see more of them! xx
The Smiths said…
Thanks Sooz - we are really looking forward to her arrival this week! xx
The Smiths said…
Thanks Mum... You are very kind!
K&S xx
The Smiths said…
Thank you Pattypan... With Bebe here; there will definitely be lots of laughter! Look forward to catching up with you!
K&S :) xx
The Smiths said…
Thanks Nic - life will certainly be fun with Bebe!
K&S :) xx
The Smiths said…
Thank you Gai - like yourself, we've experienced dementia before & know although it will be difficult at times, we will also really enjoy having Bebe around... She has many memories still & her stories are incredibly entertaining & filled with her daft sense of humour! We are looking forward to her arrival! :)
Cottage Tails said…
Good on you. It was a privilege caring for Brent's parents with their failing health - they did not have dementia which must be very hard on all. Love Leanne

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