Skip to main content

The lovely people of St.Austell

A nasty virus has descended upon Smith mansions, leaving the husband weakened and the wife sore of throat and unfeasibly frozen. We popped into our nearest town St.Awful, oops, I mean St.Austell to attend to various automobilical issues and to try to bring closure to the overrated pastime that is Christmas shopping. How we got through the day I cannot be sure. Trudging from one grey shop to the next in sub zero temperatures whilst we waited for the chariot to be made ready was more than mildly unpleasant. Thank goodness for the great British pub. A roaring wood burner and copious tea and coffee, thawed out the weary bloggers. Three cheers for the Western Inn !!! Yet I digress. Today I want to banter with you a while. A playful few minutes throwing around textures and tastes, highlighting the glories that make up St. Austell - Cornwall's very own Florence.
St. Austell is another British "any town". Chain store shops, charity shops and pubs serving mostly  beers from the County's major brewer. Back in the '60's, town planners, who will hereafter be called *SCUM* passed legislation that allowed for a row of medieval houses to be levelled. Two years ago, SCUM decided that the lovely (yes a bit tired, but nonetheless serviceable Art Deco cinema designed by Sir Wolstenholme Tyght-Crotche or somebody) had to go in favour of a multiplex with a 20 year predicted life. So, now we have the cinema who's seating arrangement is so steep that during the grand opening ceremony celebrity mountain guide Sherpa Tensing Norgay fainted upon looking at the incline.What were they thinking? The cinema complex is roughly within the beautiful and original looking environs of our new Mall, the romantically named "White River". For White River read "Trickle with a shopping trolley in it".
We had much fun warming ourselves earlier in the day, drinking coffee and hot choc in a faceless branded coffee shop and gaining much amusement from watching the downtrodden shoppers traipse around the soulless concrete maze, depression and bitter resignation etched into their faces. The season of goodwill manifest. Inside the coffee shop was much the same, but the highlight came in the form of a mum seated nearby and her ineffective attempts to reason and control her  hyperactive two year old son. Avery was his name. Yes Avery. Unbelievable. What kind of name is that? Poor lad. Anyway, little Aviary or Apiary wouldn't keep still bless him, ignoring his Mum's pleas & threats.No wonder the little cherub was in a frenzy - he was ripped to the tits on a junk blackberry drink and a bright yellow cup cake. When he wasn't under customers' feet, he was meeting me with a vacant thousand yard stare that said to me in 20 years Avery will most likely abduct people and eat them. And work part-time in the town planning office. Can't wait.
Well, off to bed now after a pleasant few hours by the fire trying to bring our bodies out of cryogenic freeze.
Bye for now,
Simon.

http://www.whiteriverdevelopments.co.uk/

Comments

Ananda said…
Ha ha, so funny and so so true......

Popular posts from this blog

Diet And Drugs

Some of you know about my fight with Graves Disease, an auto immune system disorder, which causes an overactive thyroid. Since I was diagnosed 7 years ago, I have made it my business to know everything I possibly could about the condition & this has probably saved my life. I have blood tests on a regular basis & in November last year, I was told that my T4 levels are normal & again in January the same.  My thyroid stimulating hormone was finally starting to work too, after 7 years of lying dormant, so I suggested I came off the anti thyroid drug & my GP's response was to continue for a while longer. A month ago, I rang my GP & suggested again that I come off the drug or at least halve it, as I was feeling so well  & was concerned about the drug pushing me into being under active. Again, she said to be patient & they would send for me when it's time for a blood test. I don't normally do as I'm told, but decided to stick with it a b

Our Neighbours

The ladies next door have been giving birth in the field. Their babies are like any other babies - they sleep, they feed, they follow their mums everywhere, they run around, then fall asleep again.  These little beauties are completely unaware of their fate... But we know... And this is one thing which makes living here difficult. How can people eat other beings without feeling terrible?     It just doesn't make sense. Both the posters are from the  Cornwall Vegans  website. If you are in Cornwall or will be on Saturday 22nd April - do support this event! Perhaps you have been considering veganism - this  Vegan Starter Kit  will help you to get started and if you have any questions, need help or ideas for recipes - just ask, we are always happy to talk to folks who want to change their diet for the better. And in case you haven't seen this on iplayer - Here is  Simon Amstell's Carnage . Please, please think seriousl

Nettles

Our garden yesterday. Tall Nettles TALL nettles cover up, as they have done These many springs, the rusty harrow, the plough Long worn out, and the roller made of stone: Only the elm butt tops the nettles now. This corner of the farmyard I like most: As well as any bloom upon a flower I like the dust on the nettles, never lost Except to prove the sweetness of a shower. ~ Edward Thomas ~ Every time we venture out to pick nettles, Sime always goes on about this poem! Anyway, thought I'd share with you the article I've written for next month's Parish Magazine... Our hedgerows are coming alive with food aplenty, but hardly anyone really notices the nettles that surround us, they grow quietly while using their juices to produce a medicine that can bring health. Anaemia, arthritis, rickets, tuberculosis, respiratory diseases, colds, catarrh and lymphatic problems can all benefit from this wonderful wild and free super food. Nettles are rich in ca