My sister Joanne died 21 years ago – she would
have been 52 today.
Life was not easy for Jo; she was born with a
congenital heart condition and was labelled “mentally handicapped”. Eventually
that label was softened and it was deemed that she had “learning disabilities”.
She had amazing abilities actually - they were just different to what the
powers that be decided she should be good at...She had the most incredible memory,
photographic really and could remember every tiny detail from years ago and
when I say every detail, I mean everything...Dates, times, names, what we were
wearing, what we all ate and drank. She was also a living encyclopaedia when it
came to music, TV shows and films – it never ceased to blow our minds and
provided hours of entertainment for my brother and I when we were kids. She was
always right too, which bugged us.
Jo also talked to dead people and had a very sharp sixth
sense, it freaked me out on several occasions when we were sharing a bedroom to
wake in the night and find her in conversations with dead relatives – I
couldn’t see them, but she would describe everything about them and I never doubted her for one moment.
Unfortunately, Jo spent the majority of her life being
used by the NHS as a drug tester (this is or at least was probably a common
thing for children and adults with learning disabilities to be used in drug
trials). I pleaded with my mum a few times to put a stop to it, but it
continued and she died in 2000. At the time of her death she was on a cocktail of
drugs including a new epilepsy drug, a contraceptive pill and all sorts of
heart medication. She wasn’t in a relationship and didn’t have epilepsy, but
after collapsing and being rushed into hospital, we were told that she’d had a
seizure. The medical staff didn’t do anything, no examination, nothing and for
several days Jo lay unconscious while I argued that she didn’t have epilepsy
and tried to convince them that they need to do something, because it seemed as
far as they were concerned - she wasn’t worth saving. It took me a week of
making a nuisance of myself before they agreed to scan her. Low and behold, she
had had a brain haemorrhage and because she had been left so long – the damage
was irreversible. It is with no doubt in my mind that Jo died from the constant
cocktail of drugs pumped into her. She had 2 years free from the drug
merry-go-round when she went off to residential college and she was so well,
happy and learning to live independently - her biggest mistake was to return
home. Living with my mum was not a healthy environment for her to be in and the
drug experiments soon kicked in again. For many years I beat myself up for not
intervening more, but I had my own family to think about too. Jo adored Sime
and although she also loved being “Aunty Jo-Jo” to the kidlets - in her eyes
they were in direct competition for our grandparents’ affection and of course,
I was just the bossy big sis!
In later life Jo joined an advocacy group, giving
talks about life with learning disabilities. We didn’t know anything
about this until Sime and I went along to a training event put on by the family
respite team and there was Jo standing in front of us all confidently talking
about what it was like to live with disabilities. She was truly amazing!
Shortly after her death, we met a woman out of the
blue who told us that she worked with dead people. I introduced her to my mum
so they could talk about and to Jo, which they did. Needless to say, it turned
out that Jo was busy in the afterlife helping people with their transition and
she said that she would be coming to visit me when I’m ready...I’ve never seen
her, but I have felt her presence, I see the white feathers I was told about; fall
from nowhere in front of me (even indoors) and she has appeared in my dreams
now and again - always at the right time.
This morning, I felt a strong urge to ask her what to
write and here it is...
During this last year
many people have been able to sit back and take stock, to re-imagine their
lives and begin to make changes. It has been a huge learning curve for many who
are not used to adapting, but for those who have managed to embrace it and turn
their lives around – it probably has been a good year for personnel growth. These
people have discovered how capable they are and that outside influences don’t
really have any impact.
We are indeed thought-evolved
beings and everything going on around us is just an illusion...created by our
collective minds. There are many of us who operate in a different vibration; we
have elevated ourselves through meditation and intentionally working on
ourselves to bring about inner peace. We deeply care that others are suffering,
but realise that everyone is on their own journey and all we can do is be here
for those struggling and shine a light to the path which will lead them to
their own transformation.
Did this come from Jo or my higher self? I don’t
really know...perhaps I’m ready for her to visit.
Anyway, this is one of Jo’s favourite songs from when
we were young – we often sang this together, even though she was only around 6
years old she would get quite emotional singing it. She was definitely an wise old soul.
Love Kay xx